The Enneagram from a 9’s Perspective

The Enneagram from a 9’s Perspective

What is this thing
this thing that says I’m
a “Preservationist”
a “Peacemaker”
a “Mediator”
a Type 9?

What is it all about?
I questioned it with doubt.

It knew all my secrets
All the little bits and pieces
Of my personality
Things I didn’t want to see

It knew I loved being lazy
Even though I stayed very busy
And that I accomplished and achieved
But when work was done I was so relieved
To know I could be
Just me

I needed to learn more
About this thing called an enneagram
learn more about myself
about things I never realized
but somehow always knew
about things I’d never named
but recognized when I heard it
More and more and more about me
The me I wanted to
Just be

I learned
How I delude myself
How strong my drive to avoid conflict
How passively aggressive I am
I knew
It was true
How I am un-self-conscious
And have always found
Ways and reasons
To not think about myself
I knew
It was true
How I avoid my own anger
and how important it is
to keep the peace
And how I don’t like
negative feelings
so much so that
I detach from myself
by ‘numbing out’
which is withdrawing
into a sleep
deep inside myself
where, neither you, nor anyone else
can get me
A place where I can be
peaceful, calm and safe
And I can just
be me
And I knew
It was true
So here it was
My wake up call
Come you type 9
Stop self forgetting
Wake up to who you are
Observe yourself
Be present, in the moment
Get angry, in the moment
No matter how frightening
I need to start ‘fighting’
You know that’s right
And I knew
It was all true

And then came our holy idea
Our essence
What the entire process
Of learning and experiencing
The enneagram
Is really all about

This is the point and purpose
Of the journey I’ve been on
…to touch my essence
Unconditional love
Holy love
An essence that I’ve always known
I’ve experienced it
I have felt it deep inside
And now, I’ve come home
to my essence
And what a beautiful place
and space that is to be
Where love
and faith
and hope reside
Somewhere deep down inside
where I can find
the Divine
and I can be
just me

Thank you
Carole, Gloria and fellow students
For leading me to that place.

Judy Shoob

Author: AEA

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