Integrating what you left behind in Childhood for 9 different types
Childhood is all about surviving. In the process of choosing the way that seems safest and works for us, we leave behind some gold nuggets that could be really helpful. In adulthood, we realize our habits limit us and find that revisiting our childhood allows us to resurrect some of the choices we buried long ago. It sharpens and brings into focus the essential essence of who we truly are.
The following can be used as a group meditation with space between the differing types. Discussion and/or journaling questions at the end allow for further conversation.
For the Perfectionist who is tied to doing things the right way, there is a need to learn to lighten up. They need to ease up and allow for mistakes, realizing there could be two ways that work, not just your own way. Imagine going on vacation and leaving the “need to be right” at home.
The Giver/Helper earns such kudos for being mom’s or dad’s little helper that it turns into a life-long goal to always find the way to The process refuses to focus on the self, seeing that as selfish, while longing for someone to take care of them. When the Helper comes to realize they can’t save the world and begins to concentrate on themselves, it is a good thing. The focus on themselves tempers their pride into allowing others to be involved as they will.
Performers also called the Achievers of the world focus on how the outer world perceives them, working hard to never fail. Maturity allows them to find and develop their own trust in others and in themselves. Overcoming the fear of going inside, they develop trust in their own conscience and in the ability to follow it.
Romantics/Individualists constantly seek what they don’t have, sure that it is just around the corner. When they begin to focus on finding value and seeing clearly, they discover that clarity of conscience brings healing balance. The acceptance of self instead of searching for another presumably better self, allows them to blossom where they are and enrich all of us by sharing the unique individual that they are.
Observers can spend their life on the sideline, waiting until the right time when they know enough to enter the game of life. As they discover the way to convert knowledge into action, they find the courage and vitality to move forward in confidence. The head and gut finally connect.
Loyal Skeptics can question the seemingly most secure of projects, bringing new doubts to the front. Their ability to move forward
The Adventurer skims through life, packing in the most they Developing the ability to stop, dive deep, and not hide from the dirt in life enables them to live a truly full life.
Protectors stand righteous in defense of the vulnerable while covering up their own insecurities with denial and a strong offense. As they encourage their softer side in the service of justice, a new stance opens up that shapes trust and integrity while building up everyone involved.
Mediators/Peacemakers see everyone else’s point of view while lose their own due to an inability to believe in themselves. The move to focusing on goals, and the constructive action need toward completing those goals, builds a confidence in them that allows them to step forward in life.
From the Enneagram point of view, each type needs to integrate aspects from the security point (Child Heart) or from the arrow they go against, to help complete aspects of the personality, from childhood, they have tried to escape. The Enneagram gives clues to some of the facets on which each type would benefit from working. As always, when one moves toward another type, one can access the high or low side of the type, the essential essence, or the crippling vice. Maturity searches for the healthier choice.
Integrating the aspects of the personality that one originally classified as useless is part of becoming adult. The road to maturity is liberating, like a snake shedding the skin it has outgrown. Messy and dangerous with all the squirming about, it takes deliberate effort to shake off the old habit and live into a new stronger life.
- Type 1-retrieves from the 7
- Type 2-retrieves from the 4
- Type 3-retrieves from the 6
- Type 4-retrieves from the 1
- Type 5-retrieves from the 8
- Type 6-retrieves from the 9
- Type 7-retrieves from the 5
- Type 8-retrieves from the 2
- Type 9-retrieves from the 3
Questions for Group or Individual Consideration:
- What does the Type _____ receive from the security point (flowing against the arrow) ____ to help move them forward in life?
Example: Type 9, flowing against the arrow, is Type 3.
- What are the positives this brings forth?
- What might be the negatives that come out?
- Can you think of instances in your life when you acted from the Child Heart aspect of your type?